Hi my name is Barb.  I have no desire to ask for help but I am or have put myself in this situation.  I am 45 years old and by my choice have made some dumb mistakes, hindsight is 20/20.  I am fully capable of working and am quite intelligent.  I am in a place though where there is no access for me to get employment and I will be homeless once again in less than a month.  I am a sober person as well. 

I will tell you a little about my life in general.  I am 7 of 8 children, raised in an alcoholic/drug environment.  I did not choose that life for myself, I persevered and was in business for myself for 15 years and was very good at what I did.  I decided at 36 to start drinking and in less than 4 years it nearly killed me.  I decided to get sober and I did.  I relapsed this past December did not want to see the mess my life has become.  I lost everything I ever had sober, struggling to continue to keep my kids in a home and taken care of.  My life was my children and their well being.  Their father has been deceased for 11 years, and that didn't even set off my drinking career but yet it played a part.  I chose to drown my sorrows and woes and it didn't owrk the next day they were still there, and the misery of drinking I did not want that any more so I got sober again. 

So here I sit in someones home that said they would give me some help and because they drink and now that i have opted to get sober again, they have opted not to help.  I have no car the only one I had I gave my daughter to get back and forth to school in.  I was walking to work everyday when I had a job in my previous location, and then i broke my foot in some freak accident, and didn't realize it for ten days, and was walking and working on it the whole time, just thought i bruised it, so i made it worse.  I then lost that job and have had no workers comp yet.  I am working on it, but in the mean time I want to get a job.  I have no idea how to get any assistance and where to go.  I never had to, I have always been self supporting and worked.  I still want to work.  When I got out of my previous business I went back to school and I received my AA in accounting.  I am far from unintelligent, and I work hard.  I am a very fortunate person in my God given talents, he truly blessed me there.  I am a very quick learner and can multitask very well.

If you have never been in recovery, it will be hard for you to understand that you can't stay sober alone. I am not capable of getting to metings and with gas prices the way they are people dont wish to drive this far into the sticks to get me.  I am looking to figure a way to move and I dont't require much, I can live in one room as long as there is a potty.  I do require that, one of those necessary evils toilets.  I have a good sense of humor, laughter is the best medicine.  I know that somehow, someway I will get direction in what I am supposed to do, and if I don't put it out there no one can help me.

I don't expect anything for free, but this is that moment in time a handup and handout go together.  I nevr thought in my life this is where I would be today.

I am very blessed my son is a senior in college and working on his masters, and my daughter wil be starting soon. 

I may not have had the perfect life but it is what I have had, and that I must see.  I was a good mom and still am they just don't live with me right now, first time in their lives I am not withthem, and that has been a big change for me.  I like being a mom and did a good job, at least I thinks so they have learned to be respectful, courteous, kind, loving, caring kids. 

It is funny when people meet me that can't believe the kind of person I am and how I ended up here, it happens even to good people, and maybe if I post this someone will be able to give me some advice as what to do.

I am in the state of Georgia, and I am not from here, and I do not know anyone other than this person who offered help, where I am right now.  I have lived up to my part of this deal, and have accomplished all that has been required of me.  I power washed a very large deck and restained it, I raked 1 acre of yard that hasn't been raked in years, and 8 very large oaks are here, I trimmed the hedges, have helped her with the business she has, and I guess my job is done here she no longer wants me around.  I did not get any pay for any of this service, I have supported myself for my time here, I had some money from my income tax return that I have been living on, and now that that is almost gone and no job, she has decided I should move and she can't help me, she doesn't have the time, and so on blah blah blah. 

Makes no difference at this point what I have or have not done, I am need of some kind of assistance and I do not know where to turn.